First thing to unpack here is why moms isolate in motherhood to begin with.

I’m guilty of it. I spent the first 2 years of motherhood intentionally separating myself from friends, family, and social media. In my case, I had an extreme case of self doubt and feeling like no one was interested in my motherhood journey. I singled myself out as being the only one who cared about my new lifestyle and my new babies.

I think because motherhood is such an extreme experience and transition, we often times don’t know how to react to the experience itself, to ourselves, or to others on the outside of this experience. So the innate reaction is to assume no one cares or understands, and then isolate. We decide: I’ll figure this out by myself, no one can help me this baby better than I can, I’ll do it all alone since no one cares.

We go into defense mode, not understanding that it’s usually not that no one cares…it’s that people have lives too.

My biggest regret as a new mom was having this negative attitude and not reaching out to the people around me for support and/or just to be social.

I do feel that our feelings in motherhood are valid. When we experience a huge shift in life, we all want people to care…to notice. And so we get offended when we don’t get the attention we think we deserve. We are the talk of the town when we’re preggo…all eyes are on us. But when the babies come, it’s crickets.

So it’s a bit disheartening because we assume the attention will last forever. We assume the hype will live on. The reality, the hype is wrapped up in the brewing of the baby, not the baby itself. And so we have to face the truth: we have be intentional about not isolating.

It’s not that no one cares, it’s that once the jig is up, and the baby comes…people aren’t so fixated on the actual raising of the child. They are excited about the pregnancy, the birth, and then they move on. Back to business as usual.

For one, we have to not feel less than in the first place. We have to be accountable for our own feelings. We can’t assume people don’t want to be bothered.

Two, we need to be empowered to reach out. Haven’t heard from a friend in a few wks, call/text them. They are most likely dealing with their own life challenges/situations…they may be thinking they don’t want to bother you…

Don’t feel like you’re missing out on life just because you’re a mom. Motherhood is not the end all be all of your life. You can have a full life and be a mom. Yes, your free time will be limited, but that doesn’t mean you have to check out from having a social life.

Lastly, don’t assume people are not open to helping you out. Have the courage to ask for help. Transparency will take you far. Everyone knows you’re a mom. They will more than likely understand and be willing to sit with the kids if you need time to yourself, drop off a meal if you’re strapped for time, watch the baby so you can get a nap, or let your kids hang with their kids while you catch up on your to-do list.

It’s simply about moving from a place of “whoa is me” to admitting you need support and not being ashamed to say so.

Isolation stirs up from a place of pride. And being prideful is never a good idea.

Give the people in your life the same grace you are expecting from them. Speak up about how your family/friends can support you and then let them!

Coming out of isolation and feeling alone in motherhood is one step you can take to Boss Up in life. We are not meant to do motherhood alone. And we most definitely are not meant to feel left out and forgotten.

Ok, that’s all. Go Boss Up and be great!

I survived the first week of school! The twins started 7th grade this year and I really can not believe they are 12.5 years old. Idk…I think the feeling of unbelief of our kids growing up never shakes us. I did not cry lol but I’m just amazed. Time goes by so fast SMH

So I thought I was prepared for their first day, and we were rushing the entire morning. Like…..how does this happen? We got up on time, their dad arrived on time to drop them off at the bus stop…IDK. Either way, they made it out the door.

One thing I did do differently this year was added a pre-teens daily devotional to their morning routine. Maybe that time lapse of them reading made it seem like we were pressed for time. I think I am so used to the mornings moving fast; maybe the slow pace of middle schoolers threw me off.

Their first week was a success and we are back in school mode. The summer honestly flew by. We didn’t get to travel as much as we usually do in the summer due to Kaleb having a basketball injury. But it was a good summer none the less. I’ll do a summer wrap up post on IG…you should do one too!

My MomLife Lesson for this week: stop expecting perfect all the time. Relax, it’s not that serious. Giving myself grace when it comes to the routines I try to impose on myself!

I have been busy getting my mind right about the next move for For Moms Like Us. This biz and movement has been on my heart for years and I’ve gone in circles so many times about what this needed to be. I debated on the biz model, the offerings, the services, the branding, everythaannngg!

One thing about me, I’m gonna take something to God, ok. Any and everything will be discussed with Him because I am such a clarity and solutions type of person. I need to know the plan, I need to know the steps, I want to do things right.

Yes, part of that is perfectionist…the other part is ADHDish…but it’s me and I can’t help that lol

So I stopped posting on IG and on the blog for a couple weeks so I could get clarity on what God was leading me to do when it comes to supporting moms. And this is what the result was:

There is so much in store for this community and I am so excited to be bringing this vision to life. Moms need a space where they can be seen and supported by moms who not only get it, but who are also on a similar path. Let’s see what happens when we come together and Boss Up on every doubt, every fear, every insecurity, and every moment we felt less than. We got this.

Check out the website!!

For the mom combating isolation…please know that you deserve community, you deserve to feel welcomed and loved. The ways to break the cycle are relevant but you have to know that you are not meant to do life alone, that is the first step to changing your mindset about being isolated. Although this community is online for now, please don’t hesitate to reach out on IG, leave comments here, request prayer if need be, or send an email…and know that I know how you feel. You will overcome this.

Go to God with your concerns, and your loneliness. He will calm your heart and bring you everything you need to feel supported.