I’m currently reading “Get Out of Your Head” by Jennie Allen. It’s a great book about tackling our thoughts and what the Bible says about our thoughts and our mindset. One of the chapters goes into how we can utilize humility to help ease our thoughts. She pretty much says that when we are humble in how we view ourselves, it helps us to see people different, and that leads to our thoughts being more positive and not focused on us.

Many times, we have a hard time forgiving people because we are stuck on their actions towards us and how that made us feel. But when we humble ourselves when facing a tough situation, we can see the other side. We can try to understand. We can empathize and minimize our hurt/pain/inconveniences and look to how Jesus would handle the situation. Which will lead to forgiving those same people.

It’s hard because I have a natural reaction to want to make people feel how they made me feel. I want them to see my point of view. And so I will sit and let all these ideas brew up on how to make them feel the same pain/hurt. So I am exercising this practice of using humility in my relationships when disagreements occur.

Jennie helps us to clearly see the benefits of utilizing humility in our lives. She says that humility helps us to be less puffed up and selfish in the situation, it helps us see people as God see’s people, and it helps us to treat people how Jesus would.

She gives two definitions of humility in the book:

Humility says, “Not only do I see you, but I choose to elevate your needs above mine”.

“A condition of lowliness or affliction in which one experiences a loss of power and prestige”

I love these quotes so much because they really smack you with reality. The truth about forgiveness is that when we don’t forgive, it’s for our own puffed up and prideful reasons. It’s because we are focused on our own feelings and thoughts that we can’t see the other party at all. We don’t care, we have a lack of concern for that person. It’s about power and having the control. Like when we argue and we always have to have the last word, or send the last text, or hang up the phone (guilty SMH)

In order to forgive someone, we have to let go of our selfish thoughts about that person and what took place that upset us. This is why God is against un-forgiveness, because it puts us in a place of having a hardened heart, no peace, no joy, and those things can turn into serious problems in our lives and for our health.

God intends for us to forgive and to love. If for no other reason than because Jesus did so for us. Jennie called out a scripture: Matthew 6:33 that says as we cast away our own worries, God promises to take care for us.

This means that we can give our worries to God and he will take care of the rest. We have to forgive others and keep moving forward, and let God handle that person and work the situation out. Sometimes God will call for a reconciliation to take place, other times it’s best that people move on with their lives. Either way, we can rest in God’s promises, knowing that He will handle the hard parts and the behind the scene healing/feelings.

If you’re like me, you may pray and ask God to make that person pay, or let them feel what I feel, or let them see how they’ve hurt me. I’m working to let the spirit of revenge go! But one thing I believe is that people always know what they are doing and how they’ve hurt someone else. God is not a God who does not convict us all for our negative actions. So I sleep good at night knowing that the people who may have hurt me in the past know exactly what they did and I pray that if nothing else, they are working on treating people better.

Today, I encourage you to sit and think about who you may need to forgive and ask God to show you what you need to do in that situation. Ask Him to give you peace about what your next move should be…do you need to reach out to someone? Or do you need to forgive them in your heart and let go of it all together? Either way, consider humbling yourself in those situations and ask God for peace.

I’m right there with you. I’ve had a series of bad relationships that ended with hurt feelings, broken hearts, anger, and self doubt. I also have a father who has done some very hurtful things to myself and family members. So I have a few people who I am looking for Gods help to forgive. I’ve began to look at those people in a new light…trying to consider who they are as people and how they grew to be who they are. This is not about making excuses for others, but it is about consideration, empathy, and understanding.

People make mistakes. Humans react in distasteful ways. People make bad decisions for selfish reasons. And sometimes others get hurt due to those decisions. It’s up to us to be like Jesus and love anyway, no matter what it looks like, no matter what it costs, and no matter how bad it gets. Jesus died so we could be forgiven, we are called to exercise that same grace with the people God puts in our paths.

Thanks for reading! Share this post with a mom who needs encouragement!